St. Louis, MO

Meow,
Check it out. I was plucked from the first class seat to which I had quickly become accustomed. I didn't scratch, though because the TSA guys on planes these days are jealous of my catlike grace and lithe power. They might over react and panic when they saw my strength. Besides, I'm sober now, so it was mostly just a little "misunderstanding".

GETTING BOUNCED FROM FIRST CLASS SEAT


Here I am peeping the magnificence of the American terminal at St Louis, Missouri. Are they into arches here or what? I'll bet even litter boxes have dramatic arched architectural embellishments here. Car washes and vet clinics too. 

PEEPING AT ARCHES


After a quick stop in MO, I got to gaze upon The Mississippi River.  It took a while but I finally learned to spell Mississippi.  Next Stop: Anaheim, CA!

On a 1-10 scale, this is WHACK!

Since Grapevine,TX is just north of Dallas, my folks got a room there. I do not even wish to discus the horror of the decor. The first Hilton looked like a den of 70's naughtyness. We fled. The second Hilton across the street? Well, it was swan-free and instead featured pictures of hunters shooting birds on the wall of our suite. What? Freaky.


Then, it got worse. Much worse. The joint was connected to a Bass Pro shop, which had nine dead, stuffed reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh. Each had a name attached to its' harness and Santa was there for pictures. I've never been so mad, Grrrreow! What sick mind is at work, hunting and killing Santa's reindeer? Aren't they magic? How will Santa get to houses??!!. Why does it take a travel kitty to point out the obvious? This is my mom, Denise, holding me back.


I tried to mess up their stuffed raccoon display, but they got me out of there. FAST. I am being told that these aren't the real SANTA reindeer. I'm still mad. I need coffee and I need to travel. I'm headed to California next. Silicon Valley, here I come.

Dallas: No Marijuana in Downtown Museums

I tried to kill this plant outside the Dallas World Aquarium as part of my sworn sobriety.  Fortunately I was pocketed and hastily removed.  No idea what the plant actually is, but it seems that it is not "Chronic".  I'm told that the Dallas police have wiped out all marijuana farms in downtown business/museum landscaping.  Good thing.  I was going to rip it out.

Cleophus McScoogle On The Road Part 3

I used my "animal attraction" and made fast friends with pretty waitresses. I was so helpful.  Soon helpful turned to possession by "the spirit of Rick James."  I am a "partaaay animal!"

Here I am pulling the tap handle.  I like being helpful, and the waitress sure seems to like my help.

Here I am checking to make sure the beer is properly chilled.  That's what I told the pretty waitress... I was trying to smuggle bottles back to the table in my bedroll, but the beers were too big... Look, I'm right on the middle of the rack of bottles and my new friend is admiring my work ethic.

WORKING

When nobody was looking, I snuck to the back and tried to break into the liquor vault.  Sure, I could fit through the grate, but I couldn't possibly get the bottles out unless the door was open... I tried smuggling mouthfuls of liquor back to my people but I kept swallowing on my way to the table.  After five trips, I couldn't do it anymore...

LIQUOR VAULT

Eventually I returned to the table and topped off every one's glasses so that we could get another pitcher of beer.

MORE BEER

Cleophus McScoogle On The Road Part 2

While riding in the car I got to hear about an amazing chicken restaurant called "Hooters."  I didn't understand why a chicken restaurant would be named after owl noises??? I worked up quite the appetite after driving across Bossier City, LA, then walking across a busy parking lot, then through a busy shopping center where people were scurrying around like giant rats.

Outside Hooters in BOSSIER CITY, LA

It's always nice to hold the door for someone...

Here i am on THE HANDLE


Once inside, the crewdogs introduced me to an amazingly refreshing beverage called "Killian's Red."  The bubbles tickled my nose.



All that walking around and beer drinking can work up a hunger!

Amazing.

Cleophus McScoogle On The Road Part 1

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK
Howdy Everybody!  I'm quite comfortable here in Oklahoma.  I made a home behind the clock on the family's mantel.  I'm a Travel Kitty you know, that means that I'm prone to wanderlust.  As luck would have it, I was invited to go on a trip with an Air Force AWACS crew!  We left bright and early on Thursday morning.  Since it was freezing in Oklahoma I decided to hitch a ride inside one of the insulated bags. The flight was about six hours from Tinker Air Force Base in Oklahoma City to Forward Operating Location: Manta, Ecuador!  Wait til you see this jet.  It has a giant rotating mushroom on top.   They say it's the radar and call it a radome.   I just know that it is way cooler than a greyhound bus, but not as cool as luxury jets on those rap videos.  On MTV no one is puking and getting tossed around in their seats as the 4 point harness hold them in.  This is worse than a cat carrier....but it's cool.

HERE I AM ON SOME SQUADRON PATCHES!

It was my job to look out the little window to look for bad drug runners in boats in the Caribbean. Here, I'm admiring the Yucatan Peninsula. I hear they have these things called "fruity cocktails" down there.
I'm on my way and flying BETWEEN THE YUCUTAN PENINSULA AND CUBA


I'm a little guy, you know, and the trip was exhausting.   Two days later, it was time to hit the road again. Here I am waving politely to my kind hosts before departing. I think the AWACS is a great way to travel the world.  For free anyway...

Here I am in MANTA, ECUADOR


After several hours I got bored looking out my assigned "little window" and ventured up to the flight deck where I chilled with the pilots.  I was amazed at the view of Cuba.  I hear they have cigars, rum, and terrorist prisoners down there.  But there is no video, so no one knows for sure...
ON THE FLIGHT DECK


OH NO! The weather was too bad to land in Oklahoma! It was a huge ice storm.  Who wants to land in that?  Not us.  I got the be a crew dog on my first trip! I soon found out that when the crew diverts somewhere the most important things are food and beer.  The jet landed at Barksdale Air Force Base in Shreveport, LA. I asked but they wouldn't let me land the plane. Or maybe they did and I'm sworn to secrecy.  Cats never tell.   I'm getting some"mad skeelz" in this flying thing.  Here I am at the base hotel waiting for my bed roll to be delivered and my room to be prepared.  Apparently there was no travel kitty size litter box.  Well,  they know what cats do....so they hopped to it and accommodated.

The hotel at BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, LA

Cleophus McScoogle's first ever blog entry

Hi everybody!  I'm Cleophus McScoogle.  I am Travel Kitty number 11 and I am leading the way to being the most traveled Travel Kitty in the "Travel Kitty Project."  Thanks for making me come to life, Lisa!