INSIDE CHICAGO O'HARE AIRPORT
In the wake of controversy there is always a buck to be made, especially in Chicago. When Rod Blagojevich was found out as the skunk in the machine my phone started ringing. Evidently the Blagojevich camp needed an incorruptible advisor, someone who was an outsider who would could be trusted to provide wise counsel. So I hopped on a jet and flew to Chicago!
Here I sit in the United Airlines Red Carpet Room. Fresh fruit, yogurt, bagels, and a Bloody Mary this is the breakfast of political champions! To top it off I've got a free copy of USA Today; I am not convinced that there is a soul who actually pays for this trashy full color "news" rag- it just comes free. There is no red carpet in the place- evidently someone discovered that red agitates travelers and "Grey Carpet Room" sounds dingy and cheap.
Well, the fact of the matter is that Rod couldn't bother to show up at the meeting place (southeast corner of the Lakefront Landfill). Rod misstepped. His issues today could have been averted had he simply heard me out. I was going to propose that Rod simply put me in his outside jacket breast pocket for luck; then when the aggressive media starts asking questions somebody would notice me peeking out and the line of questions would change to "Hey, that is Cleophus McScoogle! Isn't he the most traveled Travel Kitty in the TKP?" and "Does he really have a choo choo tail?" Thereby steering the question to meaningless garbage that could be answered in a positive way. It would eventually turn into an autograph session and wounds could have healed instead of yet another scandal akin to the Black Sox. History is proving me right every day.